TOP MOVIES FOR EVERY IDIOT YOU DATED

  1. THE WANKER BANKER – THE WOLF OF WALL STREET (2013) – Martin Scorsese

IMDB 8.2/10 – ROTTEN TOMATOES 77%

This is for every girl who ever dated that egotistical wanker banker. Margot Robbie who plays the role of  Naomi Lapaglia (based on Nadine Caridi) is possible the hottest female character in a movie. She is the feisty female we would all LOVE TO BE when your banker boyfriend becomes too cool for school and cheats, steals and lies. YOU GO MARGOT. This type of girl always wins!

Source: via GIPHY

2. THE FLAKE – SEX AND THE CITY, TV-SERIES AND MOVIE (2008) – Michael Patrick King

IMDB 5.5/10 – ROTTEN TOMATOES 49%

Mr Big is possibly the most annoying man to watch on our screens. He strings along Carrie for years, telling her he will never marry and commit. BUT…OH WAIT… When a stunning younger brunette who works at Ralph Lauren comes along all his commitment phobias fade away and Carrie is left in shock and alone. Let’s WATCH AND LEARN- If you want to wait 12 years for the flake guy to finally WANT YOU then sure this is great but who really wants to be second best to the perfect girl. NOT ME.

Source: via GIPHY

3. CLINGY LOSER – 500 DAYS OF SUMMER (2009) – Marc Webb

IMDB 7.7/10 – ROTTEN TOMATOES 86%

OK so everyone wants the cute guy, but sometimes too cute is too much! This film shows how some guys are just little mummy’s boys yearning for a girls love and affection. Tom (Joesph Gordon-Levitt) obsessed over Summer (Zooey Deschanel) who is just SO clearly not that into him. Tom believes their bonded love of mocking IKEA furniture and The Smiths band means that they are meant to be together. Tom simply epitomises a guy who needs to get around a bit more – just face it summer is JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. However, it is nice, for once, to see a male embodying this pathetic role rather than a female – so go TOM!

Source: via GIPHY

4. FRIENDLY LOVERS – DRINKING BUDDIES (2013) – Joe Swanberg

IMDB 6.1/10 – ROTTEN TOMATOES 83%

Obviously, this love/friendship would have to take place in a craft beer brewery because already Kate (Olivia Wilde) is super hot and her obsession with pool and beer makes her all the more attractive! (I wish I liked beer). But fear not, she has a few flaws and her current boyfriend becomes attracted to a plain Jane type so poor Kate is left heartbroken. But, fear not! her best friend and (drinking buddy) Luke (Jake Johnson) is falling in love with her. We have all been friends with a Luke, the good looking guy who is your best friend but you just can’t imagine getting with him because he’s just like your “brother”. But in the end, these two make a cute couple who already know everything about each other and can skip the small talk – PERFECT!

Source: via GIPHY

5. CUTE GINGE – ABOUT TIME (2013) – Richard Curtis

IMDB 7.8/10 – ROTTEN TOMATOES

Since Ron Weasley, we have all had a little crush on gingers :p  About Time is one of those films that reignites your ginger love! Gingers are usually not seen as sexy or hot but I am sorry they are! Tim (Domhnall Gleeson) has the ability to time travel in About Time and as per usual Rachel McAdams is the love interest but in About Time she plays Mary a young American girl lost in London. Tim stops at nothing to make Mary his and his charm and wit enable him to get that hot (non-ginge) girl. Tim is the perfect guy for Mary as he is totally British, as in Prince Harry style British which is what makes him totally cute. But when Mary and Tim have babies… their cute kids are also ginger. You work it out if a ginger guy is your one then I totally get why!

IMDB 7.8/10 – ROTTEN TOMATOES

Source: via GIPHY

6. DRUGGED UP LOVE – REQUIEM FOR A DREAM (2000) – Darren Aronofsky

IMDB 8.4/10 – ROTTEN TOMATOES 78%

This is definitely a teenage/early 20’s stage of life. You take a load of drugs and reflect on life as if your both philosophical thinkers and your great minds think alike. You THINK and others don;t, hence why you’re in a relationship. BUT NO PEOPLE this is called being high on drugs. The relationship seems so right but it’s actually SO WRONG. Requiem for a dream slams it right in your face the possible consequences of being in a drug-fuelled relationship. LEAVE the relationship but make sure you take loads of pictures to reflect back on when you married 🙂

Source: via GIPHY

7. LONG DISTANCE – LIKE CRAZY (2011) – Drake Doremus

IMDB 6.7/10 – ROTTEN TOMATOES 72%

Like Crazy explores the heart-wrenching ordeal of a long distance relationship. The entire film was filmed as an improvised acting piece so the actors really enable you to image what it would be like to be in a long distance relationship. Jacob (Anton Yelchin) and Anna (Felicity Jones) meet whilst studying in America but their relationship is cut short as Anna must return to London as her visa runs out. The two decide to end their whirlwind relationship and date, other people. Anton cannot seem to leave Anna behind and the constant phone calls, butterflies and memorabilia of their love truly encapsulate how we all feel when we miss someone LIKE CRAZY. finally, their love is put to the ultimate test as with all long distance relationships – who will stay and who will go?

8. THE DAMAGED ONE – THE PLAY BEYOND THE PINES (2012) – Derek Cianfrance

IMDB 7.3/10 – ROTTEN TOMATOES 80%

Well…well…This guy is pretty darn annoying. You are ALWAYS trying to change this guy and yet he never ever will change because he is damaged, only he can want to change. The point is that you love him for his flaws but these flaws are the very thing that will pull you in and push you away at the same time. Even when you’re tucked up in bed you will still wonder “hmm I wonder what THAT GUY is up to”. Ryan Gosling plays Luke in The Place Beyond the Pines and has a passionate but short relationship with Romina (Eva Mendes). He is a tattooed stunt biker and she is a waitress (so cliche). Over time Luke finds out he is the father to Romina baby and tried ever so hard to CHANGE. As Romina begins to fall for the stud again, he makes the same mistakes. Luke’s rebellious attitude is passed down to his son for another girl to endure.

9. THE PSYCHO – AMERICAN PSYCHO (2000) – Mary Harron

IMDB 7.6/10 – ROTTEN TOMATOES 67%

Just as you think everything is going smoothly this guy comes along and rocks your world (in a bad way!). You will have lots of ups but a hell of a lot of downs. You will think he’s being so kind and then he will smash your mirror. This my friends are the psycho guys! The worst part of it all is that nobody else sees’s the psycho in him – it’s just you! and potentially a string of his ex-girlfriends who HE calls psychos. Just like Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale) in American Psycho, you psycho man will push the boundaries, because, he believes he can get away with anything! You may hear him murmuring under his breath about everything and anything but beware THIS GUY IS A PSYCHO so get rid and never look back!

10. THE GUY – P.S.I Love you (2007) – Richard LaGravenese

IMDB 7.1/10 – ROTTEN TOMATOES 24%

Your mum hates him, your friends are jealous and nobody can make you laugh as much as this guy – because he is THE guy. Just like Gerry (Gerard Butler) in P.S., I Love you, THE GUY is someone you least expect to meet, on a rainy day, after a break-up or when you look you’re least attractive. That’s because your not looking and THE guy sweeps you off your feet and makes life great! Although P.S.I Love you has a tragic story line we are still able to appreciate the greatness of Gerry’s love for Holly (Hilary Swank), he encourages her to peruse her dream, find greatness in the world around her and mend old relationships. Basically, THE GUY will do what’s best for YOU and always put you first, encouraging you to be the best version of yourself. FIND THE GUY PEOPLE!

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